How can you still be grateful if you wrote 1,500 words of a birthday blast blog content and there is someone dear to you, criticized it to the extent that you got frustrated and force yourself to trash everything, no single word being retained even the title? When you squeezed your mind to express what you really wanted to say – and just a single statement and those suspecting expressions, you decided to shut it down and create a new one.
I cried not because I lost those thousand words. I cried because I was belittled. I cried because it was not petty, and I gave my tremendous efforts over it.
How can someone be so insensitive?
When I wrote that post, my heart was so grateful.
When I wrote this post, my heart was so doleful.
Let me see the goodness over this bitterness.
Let not my self-trust be shaken with those spoken hurtful words.
Let not my heart be shivered.
And let my judgement understand why it was being said.
I was quite overwhelmed how I was being mocked.
Oh, God, forgive me if I reacted too soon.
Somewhat, I am still grateful because I was able to release what I felt inside. I sobbed after so many years of being quite even being hurt. Had you experienced that, when you were being mocked, cheesed off, and you wanted to cry but you can’t because those emotions made you timid? Sob until you feel great, surely you really will.
I am still grateful because I was able to write this post again, it means – I still have the courage to do so. Have you been discouraged because you failed, and yet you regained your self-trust? Trust the process – you can stand on one’s own feet.
I am still grateful for being hurt – this is called life. At least, I can still appreciate the beauty of this gift. Do we share the same outlook? Don’t be too unworldly because everything is neutral, dear.
I am still grateful – just grateful for those scenarios that I came across, at least I fully know who to give my heart and to share my heart.
And I am still grateful because I am smiling now – I learnt to forgive. If it is intentional or unintentional, my heart already forgets.
Before I celebrate my 5th year at work, I would first celebrate my 26th on earth.
I started this post with overly sad emotions and I would promise to end it with a happy and fulfilled heart. This year would be my 26th. Since I still don’t know what my 365 days are going to bring me, I would like to look back on my 25th.
I was flabbergasted to recount my 365 days with you. And I thought that I would be in stupor if I would include those itty-bitty hap, so these were all the highlights. But, what are your thoughts when you heard someone turned 25? I reckoned, this is the age of fine-tuning of priorities, when I had an array of questions about my deal to life – to what I wanted to have and to become and somewhat a year to be a smarty-pants. Are these thoughts passable to live on the 25th?
I had an amazing silver year. God gave me one-fourth, a quarter life to indulge with so much bliss the world can offer. Truest, benevolent and genuine people surrounding me, happy to see me soaring – flying to the highest realms of my dreams. Thank you all, Big Time! There are only a few, and I can count them by hand. Not to mention, I was surrounded with bountiful people with low frequencies – fake and plastics. I can count them too, not by hands but with my furrow brows. (HA HA-joke) I fostered positivism, so NO to whammies.
In life, you need to run, to jog and to stretch to the extent that you can no longer hold your breath. Shout, heave and repeat the process – you’ll be relieved. And I believed that “there’s one person who got inspired by you out of those thousands you knew.”
That was my 25th!
PS. Published this on my previous site. Unfortunately, the server went down and I am one of the affected sites. Fortunately, I got to retrieve this and let me post this once again. Thank you. ❤
The Girl Behind,